Don't Even Try
by Jasmine Lita Everdeen
Summary: When Alice Edgely stumbles on the world of magic, she doesn't know what to expect. Mix in a companion who can teleport and doesn't give a hat to Alice's feelings, a long-lost sister, and a walking, talking skeleton, Alice gets a crazy ride through all kinds of weird situations. Will Alice manage to survive and get back to a normal life that she always hated? Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my third fanfic, so I have a bit of experience in writing, but I would still like constructive criticism! This is my first fanfic for Skulduggery Pleasant, though. Please review! Oh yeah, this is from Valkyrie's sister, Alice's, point of view, when she is twelve. This is set before Ghastly dies because I SAY SO. This is also after the Last Stand of Dead Men.**

**1**

I stretch, not listening in the slightest to what Mrs Undersaw is saying. Mum said that I should pay attention and try to get everything right in my tests, but Dad said that it doesn't really matter.

"Miss Edgley! What is the first sentence in Romeo and Juliet?" screams Mrs Undersaw to me.

Who cares? Dad or Mum never cared for literacy. I don't. I don't excel at anything except sport. Running and gymnastics and karate are my best. Mum said that I am just like my sister.

My sister. Stephanie Edgley, aged 19, disappeared from the face of the Earth. I don't remember much about her. Dad said that she was gone when I was 4, so if she is still alive she would be 27. It's still painful for me to talk and think about. About the sister I could had have.

I see Mrs Undersaw tapping her foot. I suddenly decide what to say.

"Crap, bugger-and bye." I blurt out, grabbing my backpack and shooting out of the classroom.

I hide a smile as I hear Mrs Undersaw screeching her head off-"Come back here, Alice Edgley!"- and slow down my run to speed walking. As soon as I exit the school grounds, the smile slips from my face. What will Mum and Dad say? Mum always said that I had a talent for raising Cain, but I never took that kind of old-people crap seriously. I deny it, obviously, but Mum seemed convinced that I as a troublemaker.

I mournfully feel the coins in my pocket. _Oh, what the heck, _I think. _Might as well go exploring. _I reach the bus stop and glance at the timetable. Haggard. Dublin. Roarhaven. Roarhaven? Never heard of it. Might as well go have a look.

I flag down the bus that says ROARHAVEN on the top. I board it, passing a dollar note to the bus driver. I walk to the back, peeking at the people on the bus. A man in a white shirt. A woman in a blue robe. An abnormally thin man with a black hat and a black suit. And right at the back, where I am heading, is a man with stupid yellow hair.

I sit down next to him, careful to keep my distance.

"Hello! I'm Fletcher Renn! Nice to meet you! What's your name?" he says, holding out his hand.

I give him a death stare.

He smiles nervously and stares ahead. I busy myself in reading a book. But I catch him sneaking looks at me.

The bus pulls up at Roarhaven.

"Please disembark here for Roarhaven." Says a pleasant female voice.

I file after the other people on the bus. Fletcher Renn follows after me. I step out of the doorway, blinking in the bright light. But then a cloud passes over the Sun. I can see Roarhaven properly. It is a dark city, with greys and black and such.

How gloomy.

I'm a hypocrite.

Swinging my bag onto my shoulder, I walk away towards what seems like the centre of the town.

I pass a tiny store called 'Bespoke Tailors'. Hm, a tailor. Could use some new clothes.

Making sure that I kept enough money for the fare back to Haggard, I step into the shop. It's a small one, but there are all kinds of fabrics imaginable. All of the colours of the rainbow, and more.

"Bespoke Tailors, how can I help you?" a strong muscled man hurries out of the back of the store. As soon as he comes into the light, I stare. He has perfectly symmetrical scars on his bald head. I look away quickly.

"Hi," I say. "I'm looking for some new clothes? Good ones that won't wear away easily?"

"Well, you've come to the right place," he says. "What's your name?"

I hesitate. Mum always said to not give my name out to strangers. But who cares. "Alice Edgley. Yours?"

The man froze as soon as I said my name. "A-Alice Edgley?"

"Yup."

The man recovers from his shock. Wait… how did I know that he was shocked?

"I'm Ghastly Bespoke, Miss Edgley. What type of clothes would you like?" he says.

I think about it. Dresses are a no-no. Skirts are ok, but do I really want boys goggling over my long legs? About 95% of the boys in my school already to that. That leaves pants.

"A grey jacket, grey shirt and jeans, please." I say. Grey was always my favourite colour. It brings out the grey flecks in my eyes.

Ghastly smiles. "Do you want some black at the ends of the sleeves and jeans?"

"Sure. How much is that?" I ask, my hand sweating.

"Oh, 5 dollars. Do you have that much?"

"Do I have that much?" I practically scream. "That's so cheap!"

Ghastly turns away. "Come back in a hour, and pay the fee then." He calls back.

I exit the shop, looking around to see where I should go next. Streams of people seem to be going to a wax museum. What's going on in there?

The ground cracks at my feet. I stare, wondering what has happened. A hand wraps around my mouth as a razor is held to my throat. I don't dare to swallow.

"Hello, darlin'" a voice breaths into my ear. "Think ya could outrun little ol' me?"

**Cliffy! Did you like it? Should I continue it? Can you guess who the guy at the end is? If so, get yourself a cookie. ;) Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Back again! I'm aiming to get this done by Christmas, but I am also writing my Sailor Moon fanfic 'Silent Discoveries', so the updates for this story might be a bit slow. **

**I know that Alice's real name is Alison, but I thought that Alice suited her better, so I am calling her Alice in this story, not Alison. Sorry for the confusion!**

**Review or karma will bite you on the butt.**

**JKJK.**

**But review!**

**DISCLAIMER: Not Derek Landy. Do you think that my parents will give me the best birthday present ever and buy the rights for Skulduggery Pleasant? No? I thought not. But it was worth a try…**

**2**

My eyes widen. Who the heck is this dude?

We sink into the ground. I watch the ground swirl past me. How could this be possible? I want to struggle, but I remember the razor at my throat.

That stops me.

"Who- who are you?" I manage to croak, trying to not to move my throat.

"What, darlin'? You forgot me already?" the dude says.

"Well, if you're a dude who can move underground and has a razor, then yup, I forgot you." I say.

"Aw, hell." Mutters the guy. "I thought she was Cain's sister."

"I'm still here, you know!" I snap. "And who in the world is Cain?"

The man smiles at me. "Since you aren't the person that I want, I will kill you right in front of the Sanctuary. Just to insult them."

"Wait!" I wriggle around since the blade is not near my throat. "Who or what are you?"

"Since you won't be alive to tell anyone, I'm Billy-Ray Sanguine. Murderer for hire at your service."

My head came out of the ground. We are in front of the museum. Sanguine puts me on the ground.

"You're cute." I inform him.

"Ya think so? But I'm taken by my lil' honey bunny."

"Nope, I don't think so. I feel sorry for your 'honey bunny'." I sneer, and run up the steps of the museum.

I hear Sanguine swear, and run up the steps after me. Hum. I wonder why he didn't do his creepy travelling underground thing.

Stunned gazes follow me as I rush up the stairs. I push open the heavy metal doors, mentally thanking my friends Lucy and Emma for bullying me into lifting their heavy purses and shopping bags every time they go shopping.

The ground grumbles beneath me, and I swing my fist around and it connects with Sanguine's stupid dark sunglasses. It splinters and falls off his face.

Where there are supposed to be eyeballs, on Sanguine's face there are dark holes.

"Crap." I say.

I run, passing a statue of a singer. A group of people in robes walk around a corner, and see Sanguine chasing me. They stand there, observing me. I want to scream at them to help me, but I am to out of breath to say anything.

I hear Sanguine gaining on me. In a last ditch effort, I turn around and thrust my hands out to stop him. The air in front of me ripples, and it throws him back. The people in robes stare at me. I stare at my hands. Sanguine stares at me.

This continued for quite a while, until someone else grabs me from behind.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I scream, whirling to punch the lights out of whoever gave me a triple heart attack.

The room with the wax statues disappear, and the bus stop appears again. My stomach churns, and I bend over, retching. A guy stands next to me. He has bronze hair and clear blue eyes. I wipe my mouth with a tissue that I happened to have in my pocket and glare at me.

"Who are you?" I ask, keeping my tone icy.

"That isn't for you to know." The guy says.

"You just _teleported_ me somewhere! I think I have the right to know!"

The guy looks at me weird. "How did you know that I teleported you?"

How _did_ I know that I was teleported? I cover up. "Ah! So you did teleport me!"

The ground cracks. I swear, readying myself for a fight. The guy grabs my wrist again and teleports.

This time, I really do hit him.

"Don't teleport without asking me first!" I shout, my hand tingling.

The guy's tanned face is now marred by a red mark. I realize where I am.

It is a clean corridor, with doors branching off into different directions. It is pristine white, so bright that it burns my eyes.

"I'm Lachlan Renn," says the guy quietly. "People call me Puck. You can too."

"Puck?" I arch an eyebrow. He doesn't have red hair or green eyes.

"Robin? I heard Sanguine attacked-" Ghastly hurried down the corridor, but stopped when he saw me.

"Hey Ghastly. You with Lachlan too?" I say.

"Puck. Not Lachlan. Puck." Says Lachlan.

"Shut up, Lachlan." I say, looking at Ghastly. "What is going on, Ghastly?"

Ghastly glares at Lachlan. "Robin, you didn't even think to ask her if she worked for the Sanctuary? Valkyrie's going to blow a gasket when she finds out that you got Alice into magic!"

"Who's Valkyrie? I don't know any Valkyrie! Lach- Puck, what is he talking about?" I demand, looking between Ghastly and Puck.

Puck turns to me, his face as white as it ever could be. "Do you have a sister called Stephanie?"

Ghastly shakes his head and rubs his temples.

Some more thundering footsteps come along. The dude on the bus with the stupid yellow hair and a woman with brown hair run into the room.

"Lachlan!" says the woman. "What have you got up to now?"

"Robin," says Fletcher, casting a warning look at the woman. "What happened?"

Fletcher glances at me, and does a double-take. "You're the girl on the bus!"

"Duh." I say.

"Giselle, get Skulduggery and Valkyrie." Commands Ghastly, not looking away from me.

"Ok!" I say, exasperated, as Giselle goes back out of the room. "Why is everybody acting as if I am a mass murderer? I just got attacked by this guy who could move underground! What's the big deal?"

Giselle comes back into the room. "Got them!" she pants.

Puck teleports out of the room.

Wait, Puck's last name is Renn, right? And the guy who loves his hair last name is Renn, right?

"Hey, Fletcher," I say. "Are you a teleporter too?"

Fletcher nods. "Yep. What's it to you?"

"Puck's your son, right?"

Fletcher swears and teleports out of the room, no doubt after Puck.

"Sorry you had to meet him on the bus," says Giselle. Her voice is really musical. "But I made him act like a normal person for once and actually walk."

The man who was really thin that was also on the bus comes into the room with another shorter figure with the face covered by a hat, and was wearing black clothes.

The man stares at me.

"Valkyrie," he says calmly. "You might want to look up for a second."

"What, Skulduggery? I'm-" her words are cut off.

"Alice?" she asks. Her fists clench. "Where is that Puck?! I will tear his head off when I see him!"

I back away. "Who are you?" I whisper.

The woman called Valkyrie turns back to me. She takes off her hat.

Her face is pale with straight dark hair and eyes. A scar ran from her cheekbone to the top lip of her mouth. Her eyebrows are drawn in a frown, and she has a side fringe.

I know that face. I have seen it many times in pictures that Mum and Dad had shown me.

"Stephanie." I say.

**Another chap done! Hope you liked it! It wasn't that hard to write, since I am a HUGE Skulduggery Pleasant fan! Thank you to the first 5 people to reviewed my story! I love reviews! **

**Yourz till Mevolent attacks the Sanctuary (then I would probably fight on Lord Vile's/Skulduggery's side),**

**Jasmine Lita Everdeen! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Back with another chap! Thanks to Mum for letting me type all day! Luv ya!**

**Have you guys ever heard a song called 'Swing' by Joel Fletcher? Lol the last name 'Fletcher' is so coincidental! **

**Ok, enjoy the chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I happen to be a very hyper 13 year old that is addicted to Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Skulduggery Pleasant and the Hunger Games, so I'm not Derek Landy. Or his clone.**

My eyes glimmer with tears. After all of this time, she had been in a town near Haggard?

"Alice," says Stephanie. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you-"

"That isn't enough!" I explode. "You don't know how I feel when I had problems that only a bigger sister could have solved, you don't know how I feel when I see my friends with their siblings, you don't know-"

"I do know," whispers Stephanie. "I always wish that I could have been there for you, but I couldn't. Believe me, Alice. I never wanted to leave."

With a sob, she steps forward and hugs me. It feels familiar, like I have been hugged by her before. I put my arms around her too, and breathe in her earthy scent.

Skulduggery clears his throat. "Valkyrie, are you going to give her 'the talk'?"

Stephanie steps away.

"Stephanie, why are they calling you Valkyrie?" I ask.

Stephanie shuts her eyes. "I tried to keep you safe, Alice, but I guess I have no option but to explain.

"When I was twelve, before you were born, your Uncle Gordon died. I went to his house after his funeral, but I got attacked by a man, and Skulduggery saved me-using magic.

"I blacked out, but then found him again with Ghastly, and demanded an explanation. Skulduggery explained about magic, and how I was descended from the Last of the Ancients. Ghastly told me I could turn away from the magical world and live an ignorant life, but I wanted adventure. I wanted something different from my boring old life of going to school and growing up. It turned out to be one of my greatest mistakes in my life.

"I took up magic, and learnt to be an elemental and then a Necromancer. I met weird people, I met strange people. I met normal people who were stuck in the same situation as me. I got my reflection to cover as me when I was going out doing kick-ass stuff like saving the world many, many times." Stephanie grins, remembering.

"Is that why Mum said that there was something wrong with you sometimes in the years before you disappeared?" I asks, shocked by her sister's explanation.

Stephanie's grin fades. "Yes. And that's why I had to take another name. Every sorcerer has one, to stop them from being controlled. Mine's Valkyrie Cain, because Skulduggery said that I had a talent for raising Cain, and I was listening to Rise of the Valkyries on the radio when I was thinking about it. It just fit me, I guess.

"But I found out my true name and sealed it. I made new friends, including Ghastly, Gracious, Fletcher, Giselle, Donegan, Dexter Vex and… Tanith Low. Of course, there are more.

"I worked as a Sanctuary detective with Skulduggery, and made years' worth of enemies. Basically, me and Skulduggery are pretty high on the bad guys' list of people to kill. So I will warn you."

Stephanie looks at me in the eye. "Alice, you have a choice. It's obvious that magic runs in your veins, too, after you pushed at the air to get Sanguine. But magic is dangerous. It will put you in life-threatening situations. I had to leave you, Mum and Dad because of it."

Everyone in the room observes how I react. I feel like a performing animal.

"So, if you want to, Alice," continues Stephanie, "you can turn back now. We have ways to make you forget what has happened here, to make you forget that magic ever existed. You could go back to the life you should have. You know what they say, ignorance is bliss, right? But if you stay and fight…" Stephanie looks at the guy that she called Skulduggery.

Skulduggery speaks up. "You can work with Puck to help me and Valkyrie. You can train to be an Elemental, Adept or Necromancer."

"Yeah." Says Stephanie. "What do you choose? My advice would be to… forget."

My mind is practically about to blow up from information overload, but I think seriously about it. Stephanie, the sister that I always wanted, says that I should turn my back. But if I stayed… I could see Stephanie every day. Do I want that more than I want to have a normal, not dangerous life?

"What happens to Mum and Dad if I choose to stay?" I say.

Stephanie's face ages in a second as she realizes that I will say yes. "You will disappear as well. We can't afford to make the same mistake as before with the reflection…"

"Actually," says Giselle, stepping forward. "I have been developing an almost-perfect clone for us, just in case we had to make a diversion. They will act like a normal person, but it can't think. It will show emotion and act like the person it is a clone to, but it can't rebel against its creators."

"Are you sure that it would work, Giselle?" asks Ghastly.

"It's worth a try."

"Stephanie," I say. Everyone watches at me. "I'm staying."

Stephanie nods, like she expected me to say that. "Right, so the rules are: Number one; don't speak to anyone that you don't know about the Sanctuary. If a mortal found out, it would be trouble. Number two; don't use magic unless you have to. Number three; don't tease Fletcher about his hair."

I giggle. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Trust me; you don't want to see an angry Fletcher. Number four; don't insult Skulduggery's ego. He has a massive ego that it has stretch marks, but hey, he's good company."

"Thank you, Valkyrie." Says Skulduggery.

Stephanie rolls her eyes at me, like _I told you so_. I feel a warm feeling in my chest.

"And last rule, you have to call everybody by their chosen names. You can't say their normal names, like Stephanie. You have to call me Valkyrie."

"And like Lachlan, Puck?" I say without thinking.

Valkyrie scowls. "He chose Robin Fell as his chosen name, the idiot. So everyone calls him Puck, since he is quite the trickster. That reminds me, you have to take a chosen name. Think of one soon. In the meantime, we have to get you back home. Skulduggery, can you take her in the Bentley?"

"Sure," says Skulduggery, stepping forward.

"Oh yeah, one last thing," adds Valkyrie. I turn towards her. Skulduggery taps his collarbones. "Skulduggery's a skeleton."

†

I climb into the car that Skulduggery owns.

"What type of car is it?" I ask.

"A 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental, one of the only 208 ever made. It is an exquisite car, retro-fitted with modern conveniences. It is fast and powerful, and if it receives even the slightest of dents, it would fall apart." Skulduggery says.

"Wow, I would just have been happy with 'it is a Bentley'." I mutter, swinging into the front seat.

Skulduggery looks as indignant as a skull can get. "Just a Bentley? That is the greatest understatement that I have ever heard in my life!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." I cut over him. "What can I call you?"

"Anything," Skulduggery says.

"Really?"

"No."

"How about Skul-man?"

"Finbar Wrong already calls me that; I don't want anyone else to."

"Who's Finbar Wrong?"

"A Sensitive."

"Right… then what about Skul-dude?"

"No."

"Duggery?"

"No."

"The Skull is Dug Up?"

"No."

"Jerry?"

"Where is that come from?"

"Is that a yes?"

"No. Alice, shut up."

"No, Jerry."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"How about we start up the Bentley?" I say, frustrated.

The Bentley purrs was it wakes up. It pulls away from the driveway smoothly.

"So, did Sanguine actually attack you?" asks Skulduggery as he manoeuvres the Bentley through the traffic.

"Yes. Can't you use magic to make the traffic move quicker?"

"No."

"What a waste. Anyways, apparently I knew him before he kidnapped me. But I didn't. He said that he thought that I was Cain's sister, which I am, but what has that got to do with me knowing him?" I ask Skulduggery.

"Hm…" mused Skulduggery. "I suppose that he thought that Valkyrie would have told you about magic, although I can't imagine why."

"Maybe because he is a complete psycho?"

"Could be."

"Who is this 'honey bunny' of his? No woman in her right mind would go after him."

Skulduggery's gloved hands tighten on the wheel. "That's because she wasn't in her right mind."

I sense his sadness and decide not to ask. Skulduggery is a really cool guy, I admit, but he gives me the creeps with the feelings that he emits sometimes.

He pulls up in front of our house. "Take care, Alice."

I raise my hand in goodbye. "Bye, Skulduggery."

Skulduggery drives away. I look after his car, and then walk up to the house. I open the door with my keys.

"Mum? Dad?" I call out, kicking my boots off.

The house stays dark and quiet.

_Dad must've not gotten home yet and Mum is out shopping._ I think. The car is not in the driveway.

Someone touches my hand.

"Holy crap, Puck!" I yell. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, Alice," shrugs Puck. "But I had to get your attention somehow."

"How about acting like a normal person? I'm sure I would have noticed you then!" I say.

Puck studies me. I study him.

"Want to go to Australia?" asks Puck.

"What kind of question is that?" I say.

Puck shrugs again.

"No, I can't. Dad's gotta get home and-"

There is a sound like the front door is being kicked down. Puck grabs me and teleports.

I'm quite used to the feeling now, thanks to the constant unexpected teleporting.

We end up on a sunny bridge overlooking a sparking river.

"Where are we?"

"The Story Bridge in Brisbane, Australia." Says Puck "It's beautiful, hey?"

"Yeah…" I take a moment to gaze at the water. "Take me back to my house."

"What?" Puck blinks. "I can't do that! You might get hurt!"

"Since when did you care? Since when did you care about me?" I demand.

Puck looks shifty.

"Rob, at least take me to the Sanctuary!"

Rob looks startled at the use of 'Rob', not Puck.

"Fine, _Sleet_." He says.

I barely have time to be confused before he teleports me back to the Sanctuary.

Valkyrie comes hurrying up towards me. "Alice! We have got to go to Australia!"

"Just been there." I mutter. "Why?" I ask Valkyrie.

Valkyrie's face is drained of colour. "The Australian Grand Mage has been assassinated, and the Elders of the Australian Sanctuary have asked for our help!"

**BWA HAHAHAHA! I'm so evil, always leaving you guys at cliff-hangers! But I like using them ;) Thanks to Morgan Sulfur, PhobbyWriter (I have a friend called Phoebe!), and Flourissa Rose! For always reviewing! Thank you! Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! I'm going to keep this short so you can read the chapter…**

**I'm chugging along…**

**Enjoy!**

"What do you mean?" I ask, not really caring.

"The Grand Mage, Alice. And Australia is a Cradle of Magic! Who would dare to assassinate a Grand Mage of a Cradle of Magic!?"

"What's a Cradle of Magic?"

Valkyrie runs a hand through her hair. "Right, you're new to this business. A Cradle of Magic is like the most important part of magic, the bit where it keeps everything under control. Ireland is a Cradle of Magic, and so is Australia and Africa."

"Where is the Sanctuary of Australia, then?" I glare at Rob for wasting my time.

"In a town called Mistwave. It's a sorcerer town like Roarhaven. It's near Brisbane. Hey, Puck. PUCK?!"

Rob looks terrified, and teleports down the hall. Valkyrie chases after him, shouting about something that sounded like hitting him over the head with a broom.

Skulduggery strolls over. "I suppose that you have heard the news?" he says.

"Yup and why aren't you running around and panicking like a headless chicken like Valkyrie?" I say.

"Well, when you are as old as I am, these things don't really shock you."

"I'm not even going to ask how old you are."

"Wise choice. Giselle says that the clone making machine is ready."

"Ok." I don't move.

"Alice? Let's go?"

"Where to?"

Rob teleports back to my side and teleports me to a room with a big metal box and runs away.

"Coward!" I yell after him, grinning like crazy.

"Alice, are you ready to be cloned?" says Giselle in her musical voice.

Her voice is quite nice. I can see why Fletcher married her. Hey, I ain't blind to the feelin's goin' on between 'em.

Oh my holy chickens.

I'm thinking like Sanguine.

"As ready as I will ever be," I reply.

Giselle gestures for me to step inside the box. I do just that. Inside the box are heaps of lights, some flashing, some not.

A crackling noise comes from a small speaker beside me. I jump.

"Alice, I'm going to turn on the machine now. If you feel dizzy, close your eyes and lie down, ok?" says Giselle.

"Yes," I say, wondering if Giselle can hear me.

"Turning on…" a mechanical voice says, and the lights in the box start flashing. Over and over like a merry-go-round. Different patterns, same patterns. Too many lights.

I clamp my eyes shut and lie down. There is a whirring sound near me.

Suddenly, it all stops. I hear banging and shouting, but stay curled up on the ground. I feel hands on me.

"Alice? Alice!" yells a voice.

I vaguely recognise it to be Rob's voice. More footsteps come along.

"What's up?" Valkyrie's voice asks. "Alice? Alice! ALICE! What have you done to her, Giselle?"

"Don't yell at my wife, Valkyrie." Says Fletcher's voice seriously. "Giselle, what's happening?"

"Puck, go get Doctor Nye, please," says Skulduggery.

"Nye? Skulduggery, Nye creeps me out!" says Rob.

"Puck, shut up and go get him." Says Fletcher.

"Yes, Dad." Says Rob meekly.

Who's Doctor Nye?

Someone picks me up. "Alice, please wake up!" cries Valkyrie. I feel wet stuff fall onto my face. "You're my only family that knows about magic, Alice, please!"

Heavy steps come into the room. "Val, China says that we need to get to Australia stat!" says a male voice that I don't recognise. "What's up? Is that…. Alice?"

"Dexter!" I am thrown to another person. "Alice got cloned and now she's a… a…"

"A what, Val?" says Dexter.

"A vegetable!"

I snort.

Everything in the room stops moving.

"Alice?" says Valkyrie.

I lift my head. "You didn't seriously think that I was a vegetable, did you? I was paralysed for a few minutes, but that was it!"

Fletcher drops me. I land on my butt.

"Ow, Fletcher! What was that for?" I scowl, rubbing my backside.

Valkyrie jumps me, hugging me tightly as I slam back onto the ground.

"Don't _ever_ do that again, Alice! You got me so scared!" sobs Valkyrie.

Staring cautiously at Valkyrie, I ease her off me.

"I'm sorry, sis." I say. "But I couldn't move, much less speak."

I stare at the blond guy at the doorway. He has so many muscles. I mean so many that it is almost ridiculous. I was never a big fan of too muscly guys. I always see Mum looking at the bodybuilding magazines with the freakishly muscular men on the front cover then look at Dad.

Personally, I'm quite happy with my weird weak dad.

"Alice, this is Dexter Vex." Says Valkyrie. "He's my boyfriend."

I eye him. So this is the 'Dexter' that said something about China saying to get to Australia stat.

I walk up to him and hit him on the jaw.

He doesn't move.

"Hmp," I say. "You seem alright. But if you ever break my sister's heart." I pause threateningly. Everyone in the room raises their eyebrows at me. Well, if Skulduggery had any, I know that he would.

"I will kill you. Literally. Very painfully. In fact, I might kill you, bring you back to life as a zombie, and then kill you again. Just for the fun of it. Got it?"

Dexter raises an eyebrow at me. He turns to Valkyrie.

"Quite a bloodthirsty sister you have here, Val." Says Dexter. He turns back to me. "Deal. I got it."

Fletcher breaks out laughing. Giselle hits him on the arm, and then mouths an apology at Dexter. Valkyrie rolls her eyes.

There is a banging on the door of the clone making machine. Everyone's eyeballs swivel towards it. An exact copy of me walks out and punches Dexter as well.

"Well," says Giselle happily as there is an awkward silence. "I think that we can assume that the cloning operation is a success."

†

We stand in a circle around Fletcher. Valkyrie, me, Skulduggery, Rob, Fletcher, Giselle, Dexter and Ghastly are going to Mistwave, even though the Australian Sanctuary only requested the help of Valkyrie and Skulduggery. After all, since I have chosen to stay, me and Rob have to help them, and Fletcher, Giselle and Ghastly are our backup squad. Dexter is coming along because Valkyrie forced him. And he is a really good fighter, as well.

Rob gets ready to teleport my clone-we have decided to call it Alice 2-to my house. In that spilt second before Rob teleports, I remember something very important.

"Wait! Stop!" I say, waving my arms.

Everyone looks at me.

"Before Rob teleported me to Brisbane, someone kicked down our front door." I say. "Isn't it a bit dangerous if we get my clone there, and who will protect Mum and Dad?"

Valkyrie furrows her brow. I can tell that she still cares about Mum and Dad. She turns to Ghastly.

"Ghastly, since you are an Elder, can you get some Cleavers to protect Mum and Dad while we are gone?" says Valkyrie to Ghastly.

"Sure. Wait for me here…" Ghastly zooms out of the room.

Wow. Ghastly should be a champion sprinter.

"Now, Puck, can you teleport Alice 2 over to the house when the Cleavers come in?" says Valkyrie.

Rob nods.

Ghastly comes back in with 5 Cleavers, whatever they are. To me, they are basically people with scythes, white robes and visored helmets.

Scary people.

Rob holds the wrist of Alice 2, and Alice 2 puts a hand on the shoulder of the first Cleaver, and the first Cleaver does that to the second one. They disappear.

"Right, is everyone ready?" asks Dexter.

We all join hands and make sure that Fletcher is holding Giselle's and Ghastly's hands. Rob teleports back.

"The person was gone," he pants. "But there was a colossal mess. Alice 2 and the Cleavers are cleaning it up."

"Hey, Cleavers can clean?" says Giselle to Ghastly.

"Well, we had to fire our cleaners, so we trained the Cleavers to clean, too." Replies Ghastly.

I giggle at the thought of the Cleavers mopping and sweeping the floor. Rob joins up hands with Ghastly and Fletcher.

In one single stomach-lurching second, we teleport to the Australian Sanctuary.

**A huge thank you to my friend Lisa, for creating with me 'Oh my holy chickens'. Just for that, I will include you in Don't Even Try! And also, Florissa Rose, read the next few chapters becuz Northamptonshire will be mentioned and even might be a setting!**

**Review or Valkyrie will hit you on the head with a broom!**

**Rob/Puck: Review. Seriously, review. You don't want to be hit on the head with a broom when Valkyrie's the one doing it.**

**Valkyrie: WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUCK?!**

**Rob/Puck: Oh, um, nothing… THAT HURT, CAIN!**

**Valkyrie: THAT'S FOR GETTING ALICE INTO MAGIC! AND THIS-**

**Rob/Puck: OW!**

**Valkyrie: IS FOR TELLING THE READERS TO REVIEW!**

**Valkyrie: Actually, please review. That means that I can hit Puck over and over again with a broom**

***Rob/Puck teleports away***

**Valkyrie: COME BACK HERE, COWARD!**

**-.-; Alright… **

**Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

No! I forgot my disclaimer for the last chapter! Anyways, there will be new sorcerers in this chappie! If you want to submit someone, I will give you to details at the end of the chapter! I'm sorry for the slow update, but my status changed to 'drowning in homework' so I couldn't save the time to write! And plus my parents banned me from the computer for like, a week! * gives evil eye to the parents* But I managed to get this chappie up! Enjoy! DISCLAIMER: I don't have an ego the size of the universe, so I am not Derek Landy. We teleport in and dozens of guns are pointed at our heads. "Whoa," says Ghastly, putting his hands up. "It's me, Ghastly Bespoke, Elder of the Irish Sanctuary. These people are my friends." A girl that is about 13 puts her hand up. She's wearing a green tee with the words: 'Keep Calm and Kick Some Ass' and jean shorts. Her hair is dark brown, looped up into a low ponytail and cold brown eyes. Her complexion is cream, with some patches of red on her legs. She is really tall with sneakers with the Australian flag on it. "Stand down, Cleavers." She says. "I think that they may be telling the truth. Phoebe?" A woman that looks like she is 18 with light brown hair and green tinged with brown eyes steps out and closes her eyes. I feel the strangest sensation of something like a cold hand in her mind. I clutch my head. "What the hell?" says Valkyrie, breaking the spell. "Why is a Sensitive poking around in our heads for?" The woman looks affronted. "I'm not a Sensitive, Detective Cain. I'm an Adept." "Why did you command that woman to look into our thoughts?" asks Fletcher. The girl looks indifferent. "We had to make sure that you are not enemies. With Grand Mage Auroraborealis dead, anyone could attack. And that woman has a name, you know." "I'm Phoebe Ice, detective from the American Sanctuary." Says the woman. Ghastly looks at the girl incredulously. "You got a member of the American Sanctuary to come? Seriously?" The girl looks at Ghastly. "I don't take kindly to my choices being questioned. The Australian Sanctuary, unlike the Irish, has made peace with the American Sanctuary. Your names please?" "I'm Dexter Vex," says Dexter. "Fletcher Renn." "Ghastly Bespoke." "Giselle Xet." "Robin Fell. Call me Puck." "Valkyrie Cain." "Skulduggery Pleasant." The girl looks at me. "And you?" she asks. I think about my options. My talent for raising Cain. What Rob called me-Sleet- before we left Brisbane. "I don't think-" starts Valkyrie. "Sleet Cain." I say, cutting Valkyrie off. Rob looks at me worriedly. "Nice to meet you. Now, please do a friendly," the girl glares at everyone in the room, "Meet and greet while I go to discuss some things with Elder Tress." The girl exits the room. We all look at the different sorcerers from around the world. "You guys all here for the assassination?" says Fletcher loudly. Giselle sighs. Everyone stares at Fletcher. A short girl with black hair steps forward. "I'm Yvonne Violet." She says. "I'm a defence Adept, but can do archery pretty well. I'm from the Malaysian Sanctuary. When Grand Mage Heft heard about the assassination, he sent me over. I'm 16. Nice hair." Fletcher grins. The idiot. "If you want to look like as if a chicken gave birth in it." Continues Yvonne. I instantly like her. Giselle smirks as Fletcher shrieks like a girl and tries to get his hair spiky again. A man that looks about 19 strides forward. "I'm an Energy-Thrower, and my name is Alex Gallant. My wife here is Phoebe Ice." Phoebe comes to stand next to him Wow, husband and wife? They both look pretty young. A girl in a black kimono and a wooden clip in her chin bob comes out. "Ohayo! I'm Castelia Mittoshinoki, a Necromancer, but I work for the Japanese Sanctuary! Nice to meet you!" "I thought that Necromancers are all serious and stuff?" I say to Castelia. After all, that is what Valkyrie told me. She smiles. "Not everyone! I personally find all of the doom and gloom of the Temple and such all terribly boring, so I work for the Sanctuary! I'm not a detective, but I can fight well!" A girl with orange hair and green eyes strolls forward. "I'm Elizaveta Blank. Call me Lisa. Adept, combat based. I'm Russian. Sorry about Lita. She has a bad past." "Who's Lita?" I say. Lisa looks surprised. "I'm Lita." The girl walks back in again. "I'm Lita Camilla, Elemental and Adept. I haven't had to Surge yet. I'm from Brisbane, working for the Australian Sanctuary. Nice to meet you, blah blah blah. Get over it. "I hope you had the time to introduce yourselves. We're going to get straight to the point. Grand Mage Auroraborealis has been assassinated, and we don't have the foggiest clue of who dunnit. All we have is that Grand Mage Auroraborealis was first decapitated, and then was ruptured into pieces." "Tanith Low." Says Skulduggery. Lita observes the walking skeleton. Her rock of a face doesn't betray any emotions. "We have considered that, Detective Pleasant. However, the angle of the slice and the bit of the sword trace left did not match Tanith Low's sword. It was someone else." "Why are we talking to you, girlie?" a man calls out, lumbering forward. "Go run along and go play my little pony or something, why don't you? Call your Elder up and we can talk. Leave the action for the grownups." Lita looks at him, anger clouding her eyes. She thrusts out her hand, and air seizes the man and throws him against the wall. He crumples on the ground. Lita stalks over to him. "Let me make myself very clear," she says. Everyone's eyes are on her. "I am the head of this investigation. I may be 13, but I am the best detective in the Australian Sanctuary. Any objections to me staying?" No one says anything. "Good." † We spend all morning trying to help Lita figure out who dunnit. We don't get any closer. In frustration, I and Valkyrie take too long walks in the corridors of the Australian Sanctuary. Just looking at Valkyrie, I can tell that she is itching to go outside and feel the breeze. But Lita has confined us to the bright, clean corridors of the Australian Sanctuary. We turn a corner and see someone on the ground, crying. I step forward to go help whoever it is, but Valkyrie's arm stops me. I realize that the person that is crying is Lita. She is hugging her knees with her back on the wall. A boy that is about 15 comes around the corner and sees Lita. "Lita!" he says, hurrying over. "What's the problem?" Lita doesn't get up. The boy sighs and slides down the wall to sit next to Lita. "L, what's up? You never cry if you can help it!" Lita just shakes her head. The boy puts an arm around her shoulders and hugs her close. "Come on, L. You can tell me, Josh Flicker." Lita lifts her head. "We are getting nowhere," she cries. "What if we never find out who did it, Josh?" "Don't worry, L. You'll get it. You always do." "But Josh, do you see how the detectives look at me? Like I'm some kind of freak? I just need a friend… Lisa's one, but she doesn't understand." Josh rubs soothing circles on Lita's back. "L, they will understand you. Just try not to lose your temper." "But it's so hard! Thinking about what she would have done, walking into the apartment that we shared and seeing her empty bed!" Josh sits up. "Lita Camilla, listen to me." He grabs her shoulders and forces her to face him. "You are the strongest girl that I have ever met-the smartest too. If anyone can do anything, you can do it. Stop punishing yourself for her death, OK? There was nothing that you could do about it. Everyone has to die sometime." Lita hiccups and then brushes away her tears. She stands up. "Yeah. You're right. Thanks, Josh." Lita hugs Josh after he stands up. The top of her head just reaches his chin. Josh tilts her head up. "L, I've wanted to do this since the time that I met you…" He murmurs. I imagine Lita's eyes widening in shock as Josh kisses Lita. Just for one fleeting moment, then he is gone. "Josh?" Lita wheels around. "Josh?!" Valkyrie pulls me out of sight and we walk away, as if that scene had never happened. † We are gathered in the Meeting Room again after a few days. I wonder if Mum and Dad have noticed a difference between Alice 2 and me. Hopefully they will think of it as normal tween behaviour. Yup, they probably won't. Elder Tress stands up. "This meeting will commence." She announces. Lita slams into the room, throwing herself into her seat. All I can think about is the scene between her and Josh. Lita notices everyone sneaking peeks at her. "What?!" she snaps. Elder Tress clears her throat. "So, as I was saying, the meeting will commence." The door slams open again. "Sorry I'm late!" A voice cries. "Elder Ballistae said for me to get to the London Sanctuary quick smart, so I got Robbie to teleport me over and then I had to stay for an hour meeting and then-" "Yes, Detective Rose, please sit." Says Elder Tress, looking slightly ruffled. A girl with frizzy brown hair and warm brown eyes burst into the room. Robbie? Robbie? Is she talking about Rob? Why, I ought to- Wait, why do I care about Rob? I don't! I don't, and I never will! "Fluorissa." Says Lita, pulling out a seat next to her for Fluorissa to sit in. "Nice to see you back." "Lita! Long time no see, huh? Got a boyfriend yet?" says Fluorissa, plopping into her chair. Lita turns purple. "Can I please commence the meeting?" pleads Tress. Fluorissa looks Tress. "Um… ok. Yeah. You can start." "Thank you. Ok, Detective Rose, what do you have to report from Elder Ballistae?" Fluorissa stands up. "Right. Elder Ballistae said the Tanith Low was spotted with William Raymond Sanguine in Africa. Not Australia. So that cancels out the theory that Tanith was behind it." "Mr Jones? Can you confirm this?" asks Tress. A tall dark skinned man stands up. "Yes, I'm sure that one of the Elders from Kenya said that Tanith attended a party there. And killed the star guest, the Grand Mage of Kenya." "If Tanith killed the Grand Mage of Kenya, what's to say that she didn't pop over here to get Grand Mage Auroraborealis as well?" says Skulduggery, not standing up. "How would she get over here?" says Lita. Oh my god. Holy chickens. Not now. Please, please not now. I clutch my head, my splitting headache returning. I always had the headaches. No matter what doctor Mum took me to, not one of them could cure it. "Ali-Sleet?" Valkyrie's voice comes through my haze of pain. "Oh god, what's up with her? Get a doctor, quick!" "Fluorissa, get Prye. Now." Says Lita. "Right!" Fluorissa thunders out of the room. "Sleet. Sleet. Sleet, can you hear me?" Thank god, Giselle is still calm. "I don't need everyone running around like headless chickens." I manage to grit out. "Well, at least Sleet doesn't seem to be dying." Says Rob. There is a sound like flesh on flesh. "What the hell, Cain!" yells Rob. "Don't be the bloody optimist in this situation, Robin!" yells Valkyrie. "Yes. I agree with Valkyrie. Leave that job to Dexter." Says Skulduggery. There is an awkward silence. "How am I an optimist?" says Dexter. "Um, hello? Doctor?" I say through clenched teeth. Pounding footsteps come back. "Good God." Breaths Valkyrie. "Got Prye!" yells Fluorissa. "Now, what seems to be the problem?" says a slimy voice. I would have shuddered if I wasn't in pain. "Hello? Person lying on the ground clutching her head? Ring a bell?" I grit out. "You got Prye, of all of the monsters in the world? This is the same species as Nye! It's dangerous!" says Skulduggery. "Now, now, Mr Pleasant, I can hardly be blamed for the things I did during the war." Says the slimy voice again. "Skulduggery." Says Dexter's even voice. "How about we let him heal Sleet?" Skulduggery hesitates. Don't worry, Sleet. I will kill Prye if he hurts us. A voice. A freaking voice. Oh, crap, I am going crazy. It's official. "Skulduggery." Pleads Valkyrie. "Hm… fine. Prye, no experimenting." Says Skulduggery. Prye hesitates. "Yes, Mr Pleasant." Someone picks me up and I black out from the pain. † I open my eyes. Two eyes are looking back at me. I shoot up and crack heads with the person. "Bloody hell!" I yell, massaging my head. Hm, my headache is gone. The voice is gone. I have a feeling that the headache will never come back. "Well, Miss Sleet is awake." A gravelly voice says. I whirl around. "Who are you?" A short muscular man walks forward. "Elder Pious. Nice to meet you, Miss Sleet." "Um… hello. Where's Valkyrie." I ask, shaking hands with him. "Oh, she is coming. She will come into the room in three… two… one…" Valkyrie barges into the room and hugs me. "I'm glad you're OK!" I stare at the man. "How did you know that?" The man smiles slightly. "I have the same disciple as Saracen Rue." Dexter charges into the room. He grabs Pious' hand and starts shaking it. "Hello. My name is Dexter Vex," says Dexter, shaking Pious' hand very fast. "Would you mind telling me what your disciple is?" Valkyrie sighs and rolls her eyes. "Dex, I don't think that Elder Pious will tell you. Isn't that obvious?" Dexter frowns. "Really, Val? I didn't think so." He says, letting go of Pious' hand. "If Saracen won't tell you, what makes you so sure that Elder Pious will?" "Elder Pious is dumber?" asks Dexter hopefully. There is an awkward silence again. Pious coughs. "Uh… please excuse my boyfriend, Elder Pious. He is a bit… mental." Says Valkyrie, trying to tug Dexter away. "I am not mental, Valkyrie Cain!" says Dexter indignantly, letting his girlfriend lead him away. "Are you a Sensitive?" I ask Pious. Pious looks annoyed. "Just because I know things doesn't mean I'm a Sensitive. I know, for example, that Lita Camilla has got a new lead in the case and Robin is going to teleport us to her in three…. two… one…" Rob appears, grabs me and Pious and teleports us the meeting room. Lita barely looks up from her map. "Right, so, as you know, the Requiem Ball is coming up again. It will be held in Ireland again, since last year Africa hosted it, and before that America, and so on. This is the plan: it is going to be held at Dexter's house in Dublin. Grand Mage Sorrows will be there, of course, and temporary Grand Mage Pious. Whoever killed Grand Mage Auroraborealis will not be able to resist the opportunity to kill two Grand Mages of two Cradles of Magic. We will be disguised as normal partygoers, and when the murderer tries to assassinate them, we swoop in and save the day." "Won't the murderer kind of think of our plan? Isn't it kind of obvious that we will be there?" asks Rob. I glance at him. "You actually said something intelligent." "I am intelligent." "I seriously doubt it." I mutter under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear. He looks hurt. Hmp, serves him right. "But, Robin, we will be disguised. You will be a redhead, Valkyrie will be a brunette, Dexter will be an ebony-haired, Ghastly will have a façade on. And I," Lita looks revolted. "I will be a dumb blond." "No offence intended to blonds out there." She adds, looking at Dexter, Fletcher and me. We mutter a 'none taken'. Lita waves her hand. "OK, meeting adjourned. Go get ready for the Ball. It is in three days, after all!" I notice a small infinity mark engraved onto her left middle finger, but don't comment on it. Valkyrie loops her arm through mine. "Let's go shopping, Alice!" she sings. Everyone glares at her for using my given name. Valkyrie blushes. "I mean, Sleet! Let's go shopping! And Dex-" Valkyrie seems to pluck Dexter out of thin air. "Can carry our bags!" Dexter sighs and shakes his head. I laugh at his discomfort. One of these times, I'm really glad that Sanguine kidnapped me. I have to remember to thank him with a punch. One of these times, I'm glad to have a sister. I've always imagined Alice as a blond-haired, blue eyed girl. I'm actually not quite sure what Alice's real hair colour is (whoops!) so if you know it, can u plz review and tell me what it is? Thx! I know there are a lot of brown-haired girls running around the place, but my friends are mostly brown haired! I'm not going to tell you if my friends tortured me so I agreed to put them in the story. ALSO… Do you know who the little voice is in Alice's head? Think about how she is magic too, and has taken a name... If you get it, get yourself a cookie! ;) Do you like Alice's chosen name, Sleet Cain? I know it doesn't have the same ring as Valkyrie Cain, but I was writing out potential names and I liked Sleet the best. Why is she called Sleet? All will be revealed in the next chapters… Yes, Fluorissa Rose is one of my faithful reviewers! Lita Camilla is based on me as a person. I can be cold and mean, but I am outgoing and fun, too! I also like the name Josh… So, here is the sheet thing that you have to fill in to apply for a character: CHOSEN NAME: TRUE NAME (This is optional): GOODIE OR BADDIE OR MONSTER: IF IT IS A BADDIE, THEN WHAT TYPE? E.G. VAMPIRE, ZOMBIE, ASSASSIN: IF IT IS A GOODIE, WHAT IS HIS/HER/ITS DISCIPLE? E.G. ELEMENTAL, NECROMANCER, ENERGY THROWER, ADEPT: IF IT IS A MONSTER, WHAT TYPE? E.G. TROLL, GOBLIN, BANSHEE: APPEARANCE: STRENGTHS: WEAKNESSES: SIDEKICKS/BOSSES: FAMILY: BACKGROUND: CAN THE CHARACTER KICK ASS LIKE A BOSS?: ANY EXTRA INFO: Ok, so that is the application form! Any characters are welcome, although I might not add them all! Review or Valkyrie will force you to come shopping with her! I LOVE my reviewers, but not as much as I love Dexter Vex and Billy-Ray Sanguine! Yes, I like Billy-Ray Sanguine. Got a problem with that? Bye! Review! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a quickie for today!**

**I'm sorry the last chapter was a bit jumpy, but that was the whole point! Sorry again!**

**DISCLAIMER: I want to sue Derek Landy for spelling errors (He spelt forgotten wrong in Dark Days! LOL) so I am not Derek Landy.**

_A stooped man emerges from the shadows. He looks at the pale body in the centre of the room in disgust._

"_This is the best she can give me?" he mutters under his breath._

_He pulls out a scalpel and started carving symbols on the body. After a few minutes, the man steps back and wiped his brow. _

_Almost as if by magic, the body rises. It stands up and walks around the room, bumping into the wall over and over again. The man laughs with unbridled wickedness._

_A hooded figure enters the room. The hood casts a shadow over the face, making it impossible to see who or what it is. The man doesn't seem to notice the figure. The figure makes no move to get the man's attention._

_Finally, the figure speaks up. Out comes a child girl's voice. "Does it satisfy you, Craven?"_

_The man turns angrily to the girl. "You are in my debt, child. I did not kill you, as I should have had. Only Melancholia stopped me. Be grateful that you are alive!"_

"_Yet I hid you after Melancholia died, and any other Necromancer Temple would not take you in. Without me, the Skeleton Detective and his partner Valkyrie Cain would have caught up to you by now."_

_The man stills at the mention of the Skeleton Detective. His memories of it still hurt like hell after the disastrous situation when Melancholia, his prize, died and left him at the bottom of the ladder of the ranks. He had killed, cheated and lied so his pretty little bargaining chip would become Death Bringer._

_Damn Skulduggery Pleasant._

"_Child, you have completed your debt to me." The man muttered, twisting his pale hands together._

_The figure nods and starts laughing. The man's head snaps up and he stares at the figure. The child continues to laugh. _

"_I will keep you around, Craven," the girl laughs. "You are amusing, and you can assist me in my goal. It is a long time that I have been around a Necromancer."_

_The man, Craven, attempts a smile at this but fails miserably. The girl suddenly stops laughing._

"_Come now, slave." She says snapping her fingers. _

_Craven walked forward like a zombie. They went out of the room and disappeared into the black._

**Oh yes, Craven is BACK! I wondered where he was after there was no mention of him after Death Bringer, so I decided to bring him back! I bet you can't guess who the figure was!**

**Till next chapter!  
Jasmine Lita Everdeen.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am currently still drowning in homework, so forgive me for the slow update. ;) hope u guys out there enjoy the chappie!**

**Also, I know it is a bit early to be asking this, but I need more reviews! I have like 33, and thx to the ppl that wrote them, becuz you didn't make me feel so lousy, but seriously, even if it is criticism, plz review!**

**Ok, with that out of the way, let's go on!**

**Enjoy!**

The first thing that Valkyrie does is drags me into a department store in Brisbane City. Rob teleported us there after Valkyrie threatened to hit him over the head again with a broom.

I laughed my head off at him.

"OK, I admit, I am not a big fan of shopping, but after a few hours of shopping with Lucia soon fixed that up! Now, I'm guessing that Ghastly made you some protective clothing?" she says.

"Yeah, but he hasn't given it to me yet." I reply.

Valkyrie goes over to a rack of clothing. Dexter sighs.

"Val, can I _please_ go do something productive?" he pleads.

"Go beat up a bad guy or something." Valkyrie dismisses him.

Dexter scampers away.

Valkyrie picks out a dress. It's green with grey flecks on it. It also has no back and is a bit too short for my liking.

"How about no?" I offer.

"Yeah." Valkyrie says, putting it back on the rack.

She drags me out and onto the pavement and into another shop. I sigh. It looks like it is going to be a long day…

†

After 5 hours of hard-core shopping, me and Valkyrie collapse into a chair at McDonalds. We haven't found the perfect dress yet for either of us.

Valkyrie gets out her phone and dials a number.

"Yep, it's me, Val. I need some fashion help," Valkyrie listens to the voice on the other end of her phone. "Yes, Brisbane. Get Fletcher to do it," some more chattering from the other end of the phone. "I don't care. Get over here now."

Valkyrie closes her phone and catches me looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"What?" she asks defensively. "It's Lucia. She's a lazy ass, but she is a great fashionista."

"Is she a sorcerer?" I say.

Valkyrie looks slightly guilty. "Um, no. But she knows about us."

I roll my eyes at her.

After a few minutes of talking about life, a short blond comes over and hugs Valkyrie.

"Hey Rie! How's the closet? Who's this?" she says in a rush.

"My closet's fine, thanks. This is my sister, Alice. Alice, this is Lucia." Replies Valkyrie.

Lucia stares at my sister accusingly. "You never told me you have a sister!" She turns to me. "Hello! I'm Lucia, Rie's fashion adviser! Are you a sorcerer too?"

Wow. Lucia seems like she shouts every sentence. My ears are ringing. "Uh, yeah."

Lucia claps her hands. "Right! Ali, with your complexion and eye colour, I would recommend a blue dress with grey accents. Rie, you know the drill. Okay, people! Get off your butts! We need to have a make-over!

Holy crap. What did I get myself into?

†

Dear God. My feet are aching, my body is tingling and a couple of my brain cells have died. Lucia's chirpy voice has killed a bit of me, especially the bit when I am grumpy. Thankfully, we have found our dresses.

I have a long gown made of sky blue (same colour as my eyes!) with grey flecks at the edge of the sleeves and the hem of the dress. It's beautiful, really. I can't wait till the ball, even though we are putting our lives on the line.

Valkyrie's dress is blood-red with rubies laced onto the top. It looks perfect on her, although Val is a bit worried about the skin showing. I think that she is scared about Skulduggery seeing her. I'm sure, though, that Dexter will _love _it on her (hee hee hee…).

My sister groans. "Lucy, how do you have so much energy? We spent 5 hours shopping and you still are bouncing on the balls of your feet! Tell me your secret!"

"Sugar!" cheers Lucia, bouncing around like a demented bunny. "I'm on a major sugar high!"

I rub my eyes. "Should have guessed."

Fletcher appears beside Lucia, and backs away when he sees her hopping. "Sugar high?"

"Yeah."

"Right…" Fletcher eyeballs Lucia before looking back at us. "Lita says that the date of the ball has been moved to next week, so you should be prepared. Oh yeah, Alice," he adds. "You should find a date for the ball. You can't go stag. I'm going with Giselle, obviously, and Valkyrie is going with Dexter-" Valkyrie scowls at him. "And Lita is going with this guy so you're the only one left."

"Yeah yeah, I'll get a date. Happy?"

"Yup. Wanna have a trip back?" asks Fletcher, pulling out a hand mirror and checking his hair.

Valkyrie swats him "You're such a peacock. But yes for the ride."

I join hands with Valkyrie and Fletcher, give a little nod to Lucia who grins back at me, and I am teleported back to the Sanctuary.

**Quick update! Least I can do after last time… **

**The Requiem Ball is next!**

**Please review!**

**Valkyrie: Review or I will hit you on the head with a broom!**


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